The RankinBass Christmas Slash Special
by CreamCheeseAlchemist
Summary: I know everybody else writes Rankin-Bass slash and all, but I wanted to have a go at it myself.


Disclaimer: All characters, and in some cases, the versions presented here are property of Rankin-Bass. Not me.

I just have some merchandise of them, DVDs included. Me no making money, me spending. Got it? This is a fanfic

with slashy themes, which should only be offensive to homophobic people.

I wrote it while watching DVDs which may have scenes no longer shown on the annual broadcasts.

And with that out of the way, I give it over to our host....

Hi! My name's Hannibal. Never heard of me? Well, I suppose that's alright.

You see, Sam the Snowman forgot to mention quite a bit besides me.

It wasn't just my mother, Clarice, and father, Rudolph (I'm sure you know him), who fell in love that Christmas.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, it all started the morning after Rudolph left Yukon Corneilus and Hermey

on the Island of Misfit Toys....

They immediately set off in search of their friend, with Yukon pausing occassionally to see if there was

"gold, silver, peppermint" or something in thar' hills.

After a while, Hermey sat down with a big sigh and started reading through his Dentistry book.

Yukon looked up, "It's gettin' dark. Think we oughta set camp now, ok?"

"Well, yeah."

So they set up camp, although Yukon kept looking around a bit nervously.

"What is it," Hermey growled at long last.

"I think we're near the Miser brothers."

Hermey frowned. "Who are they?"

Yukon stared at him, "Y' never heard of them? Or the year without Santa Claus?"

Hermey put down his book. "I can't say I have. After hearing Nestor the long-eared Christmas

Donkey story when I was a kid, I stopped going to story hour. I mean, what else could they

dreg up? Christmas poo?"

Yukon started to open his mouth, but one look at Hermey shut him up reaaaaal quick.

Hermey went back to reading his dentistry book, Yukon watching him curiously.

"Interestin'?"

"Mmm," Hermey nodded. "Just wish I could practice a bit."

"Well, I'm 'ere."

Hermey smiled.

...

So, Hermey went to work on Yukon's teeth. Such wonderfully perfect,

clean white teeth! Now here was a man who flossed!

"How're they?," Yukon mumbled.

Hermey looked down, embarasssed.

...

The next morning, Hermey and Yukon Corneilus awoke to find the snow all melted.

A round figure was staring down at the two of them, with several

miniature creatures just like him on his left and right.

"Are you up? It's a nice morning. Wake up!"

And with that, the Heat Miser sang for really no good reason,

"Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say

On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day

That's the island greeting that we send to you

From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright

The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night

Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way

To say 'Merry Christmas to you.'"

And then, the little Heat sprites joined in,

"Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say

On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day

That's the island greeting that we send to you

From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright

The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night

Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way

To say 'Merry Christmas to you.'"

Hermey frowned, "What was _that_?"

Yukon shot him a warning look and muttered, "that's the heat miser. don' want to get 'im riled up."

Hermey giggled nervously, "Hehe.. I was just kidding."

"No he wasn't!"

And with that, as everyone turned to face...

The Snow Miser and his Snow Sprites, who began to put the weather back to normal.

Hermey and Yukon looked on curiously. Heat Miser looked pissed, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful,

But the fire is so delightful,

And since we've no place to go,

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,

And I brought some corn for popping;

The lights are turned way down low,

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

When we finally say good night,

How I'll hate going out in the storm;

But if you really hold me tight,

All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,

And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing,

But as long as you love me so.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

"Stop!," Heat Miser yelled.

"What's the matter, hot buns?," Snow Miser grinned.

"Well, for starters... I was gay first and you copied me! And and and...

You're not even my real brother! Your dad already had you when he married Mother...

I should be her favorite, icicle testicle!"

"Cool off, fire crotch!"

"I'm just warming up!"

At this, Hermey did something very brave. "How about I check your teeth? I'm a dentist!"

Yukon grumbled about being the secretary, but he eventually came

around. "Your appointment is now, and yours is right after!"

"Hey! Why's Heat going first?," Snow muttered.

Hermey took a deep breat, "All right. I'll see you both now."

And with that, he brought out the painkillers.

"Your teeth are just like icicles... and yours are um... like cotton balls before they got painted and passed off as flames!"

Some hours later, with the medicine taking full effect, Hermey and Yukon got to hear more songs...

"I'm Mister Vermont Christmas

I'm Mister Blow

I'm Mister Test-Icicle

I'm Mister Subzero Ice Punch

Friends call me Snow Miser,

What ever I touch

Turns to snow in my crotch

I'm too much!"

"I'm Mister Hawaii Christmas

I'm Mister Suck

I'm Mister Heat Blister

I'm Mister Wanna Fuck

They call me Heat Miser,

What ever I touch

Starts to melt in my crotch

I'm too much!"

The Snow and Heat sprites tiptoed off in horror.

Hermey and Yukon made their exit as well, just as the Misers started making eyes at each other.

And for the record, Snowy said he was Heat's STEPbrother so it's not incest. And let me remind you that

Mother Nature raised them... Yes, gay exists in nature. And with that, my preaching's done.

Oh, what of Hermey and Yukon Corneilus? Well, after Yukon found the peppermint mine-

you may recall that Hermey laughed and fell on his back into the snow. Yes, indeed, those two became quite the couple.

THE END


End file.
